Adoption and being a parent.

Well here is something completely different to what I normally write about its about us adopting a baby.
It was all talk at the beginning but now we are filling out forms and getting ready to go for it and the emotions are just going wild here. I am going to be a father what eactly does that mean and what type of Dad will I be. What will the baby be and as much as I know God has the perfect person for me am I ready to be all the child needs. I feel like my wife is going to be perfect no matter what but me I hope so. The long wait I think will help me be more ready when the baby comes but then I hope its not too long. Don’t think you can ever be too ready for this in your life. We have been filling out forms and forms and forms, but the best is the excitement we have received from all our family and friends. Our first meeting with the adoption agency was great but the best thing was for my wife to hear the words we tried to 12 years to hear "congratulations you are pregnant". Well that was awesome for her to hear as we had tried for 12 years to fall pregnant but then my wife had to had a emergency hysterectomy
and that was that. So we never ever thought we would hear those words for us. This is the start of a new area in my life please all comments welcome.

The great escape from drugs and the all the world offered

After spending years on drugs and trying everything I could to just fill that place in me that always just felt empty. Well it started 12 years ago and my life has never been th same. I had been going out with this amazing girl who just made me always want to be better than I was. Even though at this time I was still trying to fill that place of unknown origin. Anyways we decided we should get married and I was thinking this must be the next step to filling a void that I had been searching for so we decided let do it. Well as a man and knowing that men always forget anniversaries I decided we should get married on the 31st of December 1999 then every year at new years was also our wedding anniversary and also 2001 was 1 year and so on (great plan). Now all we had to do was find a pastor that would marry us on this date being new years and all. Well this was no easy feat and i did not want some old dude in white doing it so of course I did some inventory. Now heard of this church called the biker church and checked it out on the web and let me tell you they looked like the dudes I wanted to marry us. But they already had plans go figure. Well after trying for some time my now mother-in-law told us ofthis cool couple that had just come down from PE and had started a church and they would be perfect. So of course we set a date to meet these okes and I can remember we had a bit of a tiff in the car just trying to find it, but in the end we arrived at their house in West Beach, Cape Town. So going in was very intimidating there was 4 ladies there and they all seemed super friendly you know the ones that scare you. Like why they being so friendly. Anyway in walks and I'm not lying to you a dude who looks like Jesus he has long brown hair loose clothes and I'm thinking now what has my girlfriend got us into. Well he sat down and we just chatted I was still freaked out but what the heck I was here lets do this thing. After some talk about why we choose the date and all that he says he will do the wedding but only if we come to his church. So we agree and I think well that’s it then. So on the way home I tell my girlfriend that we will go but once we are married we will bail. Well let me tell you my first Sunday in a church for a very long time was great a got there stoned and sat right at the back. I thought the people were crazy all facing the front and lifting their hand to a wall in the hall. Well felt a little uncomfortable during the dudes chat but then at the end all these friendliest people come and invite you to diners, well my now wife is just saying yes to everything.

The 2^nd Sunday much the same as the first including being stoned at church and alot more invites from the friendlies. Well then came the 3^rd Sunday I am running late so don’t have time to get stoned first but hey will do it after. So we arrive and today is different I am feeling very weird being there well that’s because I have been a stoner for so long don’t know how to deal with people straight. The music starts and all the friendlies stand and sing and lift their hands and suddenly I am feeling very emotional. So I sit down and try and figure what is going on. Well I put my head in my hands and cover my face with my very long hair and begin to weep. This freaks me out as I have not cried for a very long time and now I cant control myself. So I hide my my tears by catching then and wiping them on my jeans. Music eventually stops and I compose myself and pretend nothing has happened but I’m freaked out. Then the pastor starts and its like he is talking directly at me at all the things  have done wrong my entire life and it hits me like a ton of bricks. Well that night I surrender my life to Jesus and that hole that I had tried to fill my whole life was filled in an instant. I never did another illegal drug again and suddenly I did not want to swear anymore. My life was changed in an instant that day and I Know that I will always serve Jesus for that He saved my life.

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